The rollercoaster of my love life is neverending and I find myself flitting between bouts of crying and being overjoyed. I’ve brought it all on myself so I can’t complain.
For those of you who were lovely enough to send me best wishes and give advice last week, I just want to let you know I survived meeting my ex again and handing over his things. Which amounted to 1 carrier bag of items, which is a sorry amount for such a long relationship. There was endless tears and painful begging for me to not leave him, but I took your advice and a deep breath and I have moved on. Slowly.
The insane happiness is that vacation guy keeps emailing me (by which I mean sometimes more that 4 times a day with long emails); I feel incredibly selfish admitting this, but I can’t help but smile when I receive them. To the extent that I leave my private account open at work to read them the moment they appear. I think I might be ready to lose my sanity soon. I’ve reached the point already of deciding that he must be too good to be true and can only possibly be some kind of angel sent to me to get me through everything else. Or there is some hidden flaw in him that I have yet to find.
We spoke for an hour a few nights ago and against my better judgement of wanting to give myself space, we’ve agreed to meet. But fear not I will not be giving my heart away that easy. I just want to see him again in order to know if it was just a holiday thing or not. But I’m too much of a realist to think it might go anywhere and I don’t allow myself to give in to romance easily. And since we’ve only exchanged smiles and contact details so far I don’t have much to lose!
So, anyway, this emotional rollercoaster has meant that I’m just not capable of knitting anything complicated at the moment so I’m glad that I’m still working on mum’s jumper, with its miles of stocking stitch. I would otherwise go mad knitting this, but at the moment I’m glad of something that requires no thought to knit and allows me to zone out to the repetitive nature of the stitch.