Getting over the butterflies

This weekend was the one I’d agreed to meet vacation guy again. I’ll admit to being so excited by the idea of seeing him again, it never occurred to me (until I was half way up the M6) that a weekend camping in the Lake District was insane. Not just because it is November (and freezing!) but also because that is an incredibly long and intense situation for a first date.

So by the time I arrived at the campsite I had butterflies in my stomach like you wouldn’t believe. In fact for the first day and a half I couldn’t make myself eat much I was so nervous. Which is very out of character for me as I have a huge appetite normally. I also couldn’t sleep for the first night, and so I was very grateful I had my own tent.

Despite the nerves (I think he was as bad, though obviously is much more confident than I am) we got on amazingly well and by Sunday we’d somehow jumped whatever normal sequence of events would have followed a first date if it had been a meal, and we were already kissing and holding hands as we walked over the tops of the fells. This is certainly out of character for me as I am not usually so quick to open up to anyone and to give anyone a chance. I’m also not usually so openly passionate. I always hold back.

I’m glad you all gave me the confidence to just be brave, because when it comes to men I’ve never been particularly brave. You’ve given me the confidence to even take the first step and just have fun and see where it goes. I have no anticipations of any great romance (as I lack the belief that romance exists beyond fairy tales even if that’s what we all want) but that’s ok. I’m just glad to have someone who makes me smile. And the butterflies were a horrible distraction, but it was nice to feel that excited and nervous about someone.

I’m not going to pretend that on one level I am not doubting his apparent perfection – there must be a hidden flaw I’ve yet to find or else why is he single? And I’m certain that the hundreds of miles between us will be a problem one day. But right now I’m not even thinking of that, or even worrying about whether we’re even in a relationship. I’m just happy right now to have fun.

I have a new worry in that he is driving up to my house this weekend, so ‘operation deep clean house’ is in full swing. Having only spent time with him when camping and walking, I have a whole new set of anxieties about being in my house with him. And I’m trying not to think about the madness of agreeing to go to his next weekend and to a Christening with his friends! (note to self: must remember to check if I left my sanity and rational head in Africa).

Anyway, amidst the insanity I managed to knit some gorgeous mittens last week which somehow feel apt now as the pattern is called ‘catching butterflies’ . I love the Woodland knits book and hope I get around to knitting other patterns from it soon. I knitted these in Drop’s Alpaca so they are lovely and soft. Check out the pattern on ravelry here.

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5 Responses to Getting over the butterflies

  1. giorge thomas says:

    Really? Camping? First date? You are brave! And isn’t it literally freezing over there? Snow and such like?

    Good for you, though. Glad you had a great day. Love the mittens!

  2. Yes, yes, yes all sounds (or reads) just very honest and real. And the gloves are fabulous.

  3. salpal1 says:

    good for you, giving it a chance! I am glad you are having fun with it. AND FYI – You just never know. My nephew broke up with his girlfriend in June. In July he met a woman at a wedding. In August he moved halfway around the world to take a job. In November, she followed and they got married! So you either are not crazy or are not the only one. 🙂

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