No I’ve not fallen off the edge of the planet after this weekend… I survived and though I feel a bit bruised it was worth it to feel some closure.
And I want to thank all of you who posted advice and kind words when I felt so lost last week, you were all right. In some ways it was a mistake to go and camp with my (only just) ex boyfriend. It was exactly like reopening an old wound and I did spend a couple of days after feeling lost again.
We never talked about us, we were just two people camping and hiking and enjoying each others company. Which was bloody difficult I’ll tell you! But it was also good to know that we could. I could tell he wanted to talk about stuff as much as me but neither of us wanted to ruin the weekend. He’d wanted the weekend to be his olive branch so we could part as friends. Shit.
Having not expected to hear from him I’d already wrote him a pretty emotional letter which was my olive branch, as I wanted to say thank you for giving me dreams of the future. Which I gave him and he tool home to read. Shit.
Having spent the day at the zoo (the weather had been rubbish for walking) we fed the giraffes, laughed at the lemurs and ate cake, talked about his trip to the US and stuff I have planned (yes exactly like a date). As we parted we hugged and he said he’d be in touch. Shit. So not total closure then. Coz I know as sensible as I’ll try to be and make myself forget him, I know my heart is still going to hope.
Anyway, at the very least he is in the States for a month working now, so I have time to find my sanity again and try to forget him.
While I’ve discovered I’m vulnerable to men messing with my head and my heart; men can also be a life saver. And so to the explanation of the photo.
My lovely Dad has been attending a Men in Sheds project, which is essentially a male equivalent of a knitting circle but with wood and tools. He is a typical man who doesn’t like to hear about emotional stuff but didn’t like to see me crying when Mr Wonderful dumped me last month. Having said in passing once that I’ve love a swift to make winding balls of wool easier, look what he’s made me!!!!!
So if nothing else, never again do I have to use a stool, or my feet or knees to wind a ball of wool. Thanks Dad for giving me a smile this weekend.