7 month catch up 

Sorry it’s been so long since I last blogged, I’d made the decision when I came back from my Xmas trip that I didn’t need tinkerbellknits anymore, that I wasn’t her anymore.

That’s not to say I’ve given up knitting, far from it – I’ve made myself another steeked Kate Davies cardigan, made a friend’s new baby a cardigan, endless socks and mittens for presents for people and while I’ve yet to finish my own quilt I have made one for a friends wedding present which may be simple but I’m very proud of it. 

All that and endless adventures aside, I can’t suppress the need to write honestly. To be more than just the adventures. To say – that while I finally love being single and the freedom I have, I don’t like the stigma that comes with it, even from friends. 

My best friend is constantly trying to fix me up with someone as she feels sorry for me, and my relationship status is the first thing she asks me about when we meet up. 

And I hate male friends who try sympathy when they’re drunk and tell me it’s because I’m quiet or lack self confidence and say things they think will cheer me up but only make it more obvious I’m alone. The worst are those that say I’m more outspoken when I’m drunk and it’s nice that I am- as if they’re being nice but really pointing out I’m naturally quiet. Yea I’m a thinking not a talker. 

I hate being judged for being single. Why do I have to be in a relationship? I know a few single girls who genuinely are unhappy being single. I was once. 

As much as I genuinely love being single for the massive freedom I have (which I’m making the most of), I hate the moments I feel alone. 

I’ve no time to think often as I’m so busy having fun doing stuff I’ve always wanted to do, but I hate that I’ve not been on a date in 2 years. 2 years since anyone flirted with me or I with them, 2 years since I had a hug from someone not a friend or family. 2 years since I was kissed. When I think like that I hate that I’m in my mid 30s and feel like I’m the only single person in the world. 

So tinkerbellknits does still exist however much I’ve tried to bury her beneath the fun – I’m mostly alone but rarely lonely, and I wish that people could deal with that- it’s not a choice but I’m still relishing in the opportunity. 

So, I’ll keep knitting and recommend you all support the single girls in your life just by telling them they’re amazing every now and then, don’t make them feel bad about being single and keep them smiling when others make them feel down. 

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4 Responses to 7 month catch up 

  1. salpal1 says:

    You hang in there, the right person will turn up, meanwhile enjoy being yourself and having adventures and time to knit. I was single until well into my 40s so I understand what you are going through.

  2. Talya says:

    Knitting is a journey, and so is life. Maybe an older, wiser Tinkerbell is needed? One not so carefree, but who still enjoys life? Hang in there. And if you need to vent- we are here. 🙂

    • Not so carefree? I’m not sure people would ever describe me as carefree as I’m so serious most of the time. I’ve certainly been described by a bloke recently as more fun after a drink. But then I guess I don’t live seriously as I live day by day from one adventure to the next. Thanks though, it’s good to know I have a space to vent that isn’t just screaming into a void! Thanks 🙂

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